Remortalizer
by Kitsune Blade
Summary: What would happen if Shido and Cain got turned back into mortals and had to relearn everything about being a mortal?....Well read and find out!
1. Remotalized and where's my top hat?

Disclaimer: I do not own Nightwalker: Midnight Detective or any the characters…I think I own myself…. looks at mom…well maybe not yet…

Remortalizer 

Chapter one: Remortalized and where's my top hat?

Yayoi strode into the small detective's office. "I have it!" she yelled excitedly. Shido woke up abruptly touching his head as if to remove his top hat that usually was there when he slept.

"What the hell!" he said, both to Yayoi's comment and why his hat was missing. Then out of nowhere a strange girl popped out of thin air.

"Mwahahahahahahahahaha! I have it! I have it!" she yelled in delight as she hugged a thing that was identified as Shido's hat.

"Who are you and why do you have my hat?" he asked almost yelling.

"I'm the authoress. Now stop asking stupid questions, you hot vampire." she said and was gone in a poof.

"That was weird…now as I was saying…I have it!" she shouted again.

"Have what?" he asked her.

"Do you want to be mortal again Shido?" she asked.

"What?" Riho asked as she poked her head out of the kitchen.

"I created this thing that turns you back into a mortal." she explained holding up a bottle of a blue liquid. "It's called…. Thingamajigger." she said. "…But you will still be immortal and will never change…but no more other vampire crap."

"Um…okay…." He said reaching for the glass bottle. Yayoi kept the bottle away from Shido.

"I will only give this to you if you get Cain to drink it too." She informed.

"Why?" he asked still trying to get the bottle.

"…Because he's creepy and maybe being a mortal might help." Yayoi explained again. Shido sulked as he gazed at the bottle. Even though he didn't really want to see Cain he really wanted to be a mortal again so he decided to do what Yayoi requested. He nodded to show he would do it.

"Might as well do it now, the sun's about to set anyway." He stated. Yayoi handed him the bottle.

"Good luck." She said as Shido exited the building.

"So do ya think you'll be able to do this Shido?" Guni asked popping out of his lavender hair. Shido nodded. He walked down the street for a while and Guni thought that whole time. "How are you going to find him? Doesn't he live in Transylvania?" She asked.

"I heard he bought a house or something here in Japan." He stated.

"Oh…" Guni said.

Shido eventually arrived at Cain's house. He stood frozen in front of the door. "Shido, aren't you gonna knock or something?" Guni asked.

"I don't wanna…." Shido said staring at the door.

"Fine then I will!" Guni said and flew over to the doorbell and rang it.

"Wait Guni don…. Hi Cain." Shido greeted as Guni disappeared into his hair.

"Shido, my love, you've come back to me!" Cain said happily with hearts in his eyes. Shido cringed and tried to keep himself from barfing.

"Uh…. no. I've come to ask you a favor." He stated.

"A favor?" he asked.

"Yeah." He said. "I need you to drink this." He continued and presented Cain with the potion.

"What is it?" he inquired eyeing the bottle suspiciously.

"It's um…." Shido had to think quickly and he came up with something. "Guni's blood. The stupid little fairy got pretty damn annoying so I killed her." He explained. Hearing this Guni bit him on the ear. "Ow! Son of a bi…." Shido started but remembered Cain was still there. "So do you want some…I tried some of it earlier, it isn't half bad." He said holding the potion out for Cain to try and drink it. Much to Shido's relief Cain grabbed the bottle and drank every last drop. Cain suddenly felt extremely dizzy.

"Hmmm…that fairy's blood must have some side effects." Cain said stumbling back.

"Yeah, you better go rest. Well I'll be going now." Shido replied turning and started back to his office. Cain would've liked him to stay but he didn't really know what was happening to him at the moment and he felt weak, which didn't happen all to often. He opened the door to his house and went to his coffin to rest.

Shido entered his office and Guni came out of his hair. "I can't believe you said that Shido!" Guni said angrily.

"Well I had to say something." Shido explained. Riho and Yayoi stared at the vampire and the fairy fight.

"Why did you have to say my blood? Why couldn't you have said Riho's or something!" she shot back.

"Hey!" Riho shouted offended.

"I don't think Riho's blood is blue..." Shido stated then looked at Riho, "…. or…is it?"

"No!" Riho shouted.

"Okay, okay! Just asking…geez…" Shido replied, raising his arms defensively.

"Anyway…." He said turning to Yayoi. "I did what you wanted now give me the potion." Shido said.

"Okay." Yayoi said and another bottle magically appeared out of nowhere.

"How'd you do that?" he asked pointing limply at the bottle.

"Uh…" Yayoi said intelligently as she blinked at the bottle.

"A 'thank you' would be VERY nice!" said a voice.

"Eep! Mr. Shido!" Riho shrieked and jumped across the room into Shido's arms.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"I've practiced." She smiled.

"Ahem!" the voice said loudly.

"Oh right! Thank you!" they all said in union.

"Welcome!" the voice said happily.

"Who are you?" Riho asked.

"I'm the authoress!" the females voice stated. Shido continued to hold on to Riho until a thought struck him.

"Hey! You're the one who stole my top hat!" Shido shouted dropping Riho and pointing to the ceiling.

"So? It's getting put to good use!" the authoress said. She looked over to the hat and saw all the kiss marks the covered it. "You wouldn't want it back anyway."

"Yes I would! Now give it back!" Shido shouted.

"Never!" said the authoress.

"Give it back!" Shido shouted again.

"Sorry but can't, just go and drink the Thingamajigger… why don't you just call it the Remortalizer or something?" the authoress inquired.

"Because it isn't as fun to say… try saying it you'll see." Yayoi suggested.

"Okay… Thingamajigger… wow that is fun to say… Thingamajiggerthingamajiggerthingamajigger!" the authoress said excitedly. "But it should still be called the Remortalizer…look at the title." The authoress said.

"What title?" the four asked.

"The title of this fan fiction." She explained.

"A fan what?" they asked again.

"Uh…. gotta go bye!" the authoress said. Shido turned to Yayoi.

"Anyway, give me the potion Yayoi." Shido ordered.

"Okay." She said handing him the potion. Shido quickly drank the concoction and immediately got dizzy.

"I'm going to my coffin." He said and went to his closet where his coffin awaited him.

A/N: So what did you people think? Anyway review, please no flames this is my first fan fiction. Anyway until next chapter ciao people!


	2. Cain’s first day as a mortal… well… in a...

Disclaimer: I already told you I own nothing….

A/N:

Kitsune: Finally! I have updated this story!

Chibiusa: It's a miracle!

Kurai: The world has now ended…

Kitsune: Damare! -bops them both on the head-

Kaitou: … Um… Kit… what's with the get-up o.0

Kitsune: -wearing Shido's top hat, Marik/Marikku/Yami Marik's (whatever you go by) purple cape, and Reno's goggles- -looks proud- Just been… you know… stalking and stealing

Kaitou: Stealing? … I always knew I liked you, Kit

Kitsune: Anyway, on to the new chappie!

Chapter two: Cain's first day as a mortal… well… in a long time anyway -.-;;

Cain pushed open the lid of his coffin and stepped out. But something didn't seem right to him he looked around his room. Everything was in place. Then Cain looked out his window at the sun. "It's probably just the sun…." he mumbled to himself. Then stopped abruptly in the doorway. 'What the hell!' his mind screamed. 'Maybe it's just some abnormal knew vampire power I've obtained.' He thought and left his house.

He blinked against the bright sunlight, not used to its rays. As he walked down the street crowded with mortals he thought that he might as well feed. So after some time he had found one woman that had purple hair (familiar, isn't it? Heeheehee). He had his arms around her and was going to bite into her neck. But something just didn't seem right, like something was missing. He decided to ignore this feeling and bite the young woman's neck but nothing happened! No blood, no bite marks penetrating the skin, nothing! So he tried biting harder, the woman started to pull away and just looked plain angry. She pushed him back and slapped him with her purse.

After the woman had strolled away, giving herself an award in her mind for putting bricks in her purse, Cain had stood there for a while, not comprehending what had just happened. He looked at his faint reflection in the glass of the window; he couldn't believe that was him. He wasn't as pale as he once was and his hair was no longer as lustrous. He opened his mouth to see his fangs, praying that his assumptions weren't correct. He almost choked once he saw that his fangs were not sharp anymore, they looked exactly as mortal's teeth would. He tried to think of what could have caused such a thing to happen then he remembered what had happened last night.

FLASHBACK 

"_Uh…. no. I've come to ask you a favor." He stated._

"_A favor?" he asked._

"_Yeah." He said. "I need you to drink this." He continued and presented Cain with the potion._

"_What is it?" he inquired eyeing the bottle suspiciously._

_"It's um…" Shido had to think quickly and he came up with something. "Guni's blood. The stupid little fairy got pretty damn annoying so I killed her." He explained. Hearing this Guni bit him on the ear. "Ow! Son of a bi…"Shido started but remembered Cain was still there. "So do you want some…I tried some of it earlier, it isn't half bad." He said holding the potion out for Cain to try and drink it. Much to Shido's relief Cain grabbed the bottle and drank every last drop. Cain suddenly felt extremely dizzy._

_"Hmmm…that fairy's blood must have some side effects." Cain said stumbling back._

_"Yeah, you better go rest. Well I'll be going now." Shido replied turning and started back to his office._

END OF FLASHBACK 

Cain looked suspiciously at the roof; he could've sworn there was a girl's voice coming from the ceiling, narrating his flashback.

"Just keep walkin', buddy!" the girl yelled at him. He could almost feel her shaking her fist at him. He shook his head and continued what he was doing.

"Shido!" he growled, pretending the last couple of sentences after the flashback never happened. He stalked off towards Shido's office. When he walking out back in the streets, he felt much different, so vulnerable; it was like being an infant. He walked for a while without any incident happening… but because the authoress has a short attention span and didn't think this was funny enough decided to do something… _diabolical_.

Suddenly a brown-haired girl the age of thirteen appeared before him carrying something.

"Bow down to the almighty rusty spoon of d00m or prepare to face my wrath!" the girl shouted to him, holding up a rusty spoon. Cain stood there dumbfounded, still trying to figure out how she popped out of thin air.

"Bow, damnit!" she yelled, waving the spoon. Cain soon found his voice again and finally spoke.

"And why should I listen to you?" he asked, scowling at the young insane girl.

"Because I am the great authoress, Kitsune-chan!" she shouted in delight. "Now bow to the rusty spoon of d00m! For it will one day rule the world along with muffins and Shido's top hat!" she said, pointing to the hat that sat atop her head. Cain's eyes lingered on the hat for a moment; he had thought it looked familiar. He made no move to bow.

"Fine then! You shall face my wrath!" she said angrily.

'It can't be that bad. She's only thirteen.' He thought. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of pink.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" the authoress laughed insanely. Cain looked around to see what was so funny. Then looked at the mirror that had appeared in front of him. He almost screamed looking at himself. He was wearing a pink dress and a crown sat on his head. He had seen this outfit a couple of times when walking through the streets of Japan.

"Heeheehee… you look lovely today… Princess Peach!" Kitsune said laughing. Kitsune saved this image in her head forever but decided she should stop this insanity before the story was completely screwed… plus she didn't want to get flamed. So another flash came and everything was back to normal. She made sure no one remembered what had just happened.

'Soon I'll find out what Shido has done to me.' Cain thought.

A/N: And thus ends the second chapter of Remortilzer. Was it worth the wait? (Kurai: Probably not… -runs away from Kitsune's attacks-) Now onto the reviews

Rod G- Uh… don't know what to say but thanks for the review

Blood Cresant- 1) Sorry, writer's block (2 Will do, next chapter though (3 Never!

Mykah Leigh- Heehee, thanks And I'll read your fics eventually… they're just so many I don't know where to start But here's the update

Well, please R&R and I'll try updating faster, sayonara! -Kitsune-chan


	3. Shido’s first day as a mortal… well… in ...

Disclaimer: If you don't know by know then you have a really bad attention span, even worse then me -.-;;

A/N:

Kitsune: Um… well… no witty banter between my muses and I this time… I'm just too lazy -.-;;

Chapter three: Shido's first day as a mortal… well… in a long time anyway -.-;;

Shido had been up since dawn not being able to sleep for some reason. Maybe he was excited about being mortal again? He wasn't quite sure. He would've gotten something to eat when he woke up but he couldn't remember how to cook. It astounded him as to why he had never learned all these years. So he had just sat in his chair reading the newspaper from yesterday since he had yet to get today's.

After a few hours Riho had walked into the office along with Yayoi. Shido didn't really know where Guni was at the moment but he'd find out soon… MWAHAHAHAHAHA! o.0 Sorry, I'll go back to normal narration. Anyhow, Shido jumped up immediately, happy to see some people who could teach him how to cook.

"Riho! Yayoi!" He shouted happily, looking at the moment like a dancing crab. "You're finally here!" he continued as Yayoi shut the door.

"We're happy to see you too Mr. Shido." Riho said, looking slightly different from before.

"Watch this!" he said excited, like a child on Christmas. He ran over to the window and was about to open the blinds when he remembered Riho was still a vampire. Then a thought struck him. "Riho… how did you get here without getting at least somewhat injured by the sun?"

"I drank the thingamajigger too." She said. "I thought since you drank it I thought I might as well drink it too."

"-Cough-conformist-cough-" came a cough from the roof. The three looked up, really annoyed with whomever it was who coughed really loudly and sounded like a dying goose.

"Oh, alright." Shido said, ignoring the dying goose person. He opened the blinds and then resumed dancing like a dysfunctional crab. "See? I can stand in the sun now."

"Shido… are you alright?" Yayoi asked, afraid he may now be insane.

"I'mfineIjustatenothingbutcandybecauseIdon'tknowhowtocooksonowI'mreallyreallyreallyreallyhyperandnowthewhiteplatypus'swithpurpledotsareangryandwanttoeatme!"

Shido yelped.

"Okay, Shido say that one more time with breathes between each word." Yayoi instructed. Shido nodded.

"I'm -breathes- fine -breathes- I –breathes- just -breathes- ate -breathes- nothing -breathes- but -breathes- candy –breathes- because -breathes- I -breathes- don't -breathes- know -breathes- how -breathes- to -breathes- cook -breathes- so -breathes- now -breathes- I'm -breathes- really -breathes- really -breathes- really -breathes- really -breathes- hyper –breathes- and -breathes- now -breathes- the -breathes- white -breathes- platypus's -breathes- with -breathes- purple -breathes- dots -breathes- are -breathes- angry -breathes- and –breathes- want -breathes- to -breathes- eat -breathes- me!" Shido said about to pass out from inhaling and exhaling so much (seriously I just tried it and I'm about to fall out of my chair –rubs head- DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME).

"Oh! You don't know how to cook? Well, Mr. Shido I…" Riho started but was cut off because there was loud knocking at the door. They all looked to the door like it would just open by itself. Shido decided he should open the door.

'Maybe it's Guni, she hasn't been here all morning.' Shido thought. Shido opened the door to someone he did not expect but you probably will.

"Shido, what have you done to me?" Cain asked, standing at the door. He was shaking with rage and looked as if he was about ready to strangle Shido.

"I changed you into a mortal." Shido started nonchalantly. "But she was the one who told me to." He continued, pointing to Yayoi.

"Why you!" Yayoi shouted angrily.

"I'm sensing negative vibes directed towards me…" Shido said to himself, looking nervously between the two. "Well… there's nothing we can do now, so go away."

"Hey! You can't do that! You'll ruin the storyline, Shido!" came Guni's voice from the ceiling. Everyone looked up.

"What are you doing up there, Guni?" Riho asked.

"The authoress asked me to come, she thought I might make it funnier. I've seen the future! And Shido you're not helping it come true." Guni said.

"Yeah, so for plot purposes Cain stays, got it?" the familiar voice of Kitsune-chan asked. They all stared blankly up at the ceiling. "I'll take that as a yes…"

"So… when are you gonna give…" Shido started.

"Aw! Shido are you concerned about me?" Guni asked.

"… My hat back?" Shido finished.

"Trust Kitsune-chan when she says you don't want it back…" Guni said, slightly put out that he cared about the hatmore then he cared about her. "It's all covered in kiss marks and… I think she's dressing it up…" Guni said you could almost hear that her eyes took up more than half of her head.

"Anywho, we have to let the plot continue so we're gonna shut up now." Kitsune-chan said and all of a sudden it was silent.

"Well…" Riho said finally taking her eyes off the ceiling. "I guess I'm going to have to teach both of you how to cook… Yayoi, you're going to help too right?" Riho asked.

"Of course." Yayoi replied. Cain at the time had taken to glaring at Shido, thinking of someway to get back at him for turning him mostly mortal.

"Let's go into the kitchen and I'll teach you how to make some food." Riho said, clapping her hands together.

A.N: wow… I updated this one quick! I'm getting so many ideas now… I hope you liked this chapter as well, but the next few should be very interesting! Now onto the reviews…

Adhara Black- Glad you liked it. And here's the update.

Darkmaster2- Heehee, thanks. Surprisingly enough I'm not really that funny… ever!

Please R&R. Gotta go now, sayonara! –Kitsune-chan


	4. Someone’s in the kitchen with Shido! Som...

Disclaimer: Uh… no I don't own it just don't. I have a short attention span so the series wouldn't last past episode four…

Kaitou: Wouldn't this in some way be considered as a series though? o0

Kitsune: 00 Um… well, let's hope my short attention span doesn't kick in…

Chapter four: -sings- Someone's in the kitchen with Shido! Someone's in the kitchen I know! Someone's in the kitchen… and I'm hoping to the gods that Cain would never play the ol' banjo! –shivers at the thought of Cain playing a banjo- -bows-

A/N: Wow… 00 That's a long title…

"… And that's how you make it." Riho said, taking her perfectly made dish of food. "Understand?" she asked, smiling. The two ex-immotals nodded and turned to the ingredients and utensils laid out for them. Neither of them really got it but decided they might as well try anyway, it couldn't be that hard to make. Riho left the kitchen quite confident she had taught them well; she even left the building entirely to go and pick up some more food with Yayoi.

Cain picked up a knife and was about to stir something (I don't know what they were cooking okay?! I was playing checkers against Guni… what? I was getting bored listening to Riho babble on) when he heard Shido pipe up from behind him.

"You're supposed to use this!" Shido said, holding up a wooden spoon. Shido stepped over to the frying pan in which they were making the food. Cain scowled.

"We're suppose to be making this… food together." He reminded Shido.

"Fine then. Help." Shido said, stirring. Cain frowned again but decided to look at the ingredients again. Well, Kitsune-chan could see this wasn't going well so she decided to pop in again but she wasn't in the kitchen at the time.

Had you been with her you would've heard something like this, starting with Shido…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

"I was getting that spoon…"

"I'M PRETTY DAMN CERTAIN IT ISN'T IN MY BACK POCKET!"

"I have no clue what you're talking about… WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

At that moment a bunch of flames burst from the kitchen. "Oh my gods!" Kitsune-chan whispered. She ran over to the doorway of the kitchen putting her sleeve over her mouth.

"Get out of there!" she yelled.

The three of them ran outside as sirens filled the air. The three stared as the building continued to be engulfed by flames.

"I hate you." Shido stated. Cain didn't need Shido to look at him to know whom he was talking to.

"You were the one who wasn't paying attention the food." Cain reminded.

"Well, it's sort of hard to concentrate on anything when your hand is on my ass!" Shido yelled.

Kitsune was no longer paying attention to what the two were doing and rewriting the story so that the building was no longer on fire. Cain and Shido looked back at the previously blazing building.

"How the-?" Shido started.

"Don't mention it." Kitsune-chan said, waving a hand as if to wave his words away. A small green faerie stuck her head out from Kitsune-chan's brown hair.

"Shido you sure are lucky Kitsune-chan was here to save your place." She said. Kitsune beamed.

"Anyway… I'm hungry. Let's go get Riho and Yayoi and find some place to eat." Kitsune suggested walking off in some direction.

"Um… Kitsune-chan?" Shido asked.

"Yeah?" she called over her shoulder.

"They're the other way." Shido said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

"Of course they are." She said turning around and headed the other way. Both Cain and Shido sweatdropped then proceeded to follow Kitsune-chan.

A/N: meep! –hides- I apologize that this chapter was so craptacular… feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me. Anyway, onto those things that make me keep writing: REVIEWS!

Darkmaster2- I'm glad you liked it. But you probably won't like this chapter –prods crap chapter-

The Bard's Apprentice- o0? Malicious laughter? Never read ANYTHING so funny? What is this world coming to? People actually think I'm funny! –world ends- Anyway, I'm glad you like my story Here's the update --;; -mumbles- Stupid crap chapter….

Mykah Leigh- Um… -shifty eyes- Plot twist? I have no idea what you are talking about… okay… well… I sort of have one… if you can call it a plot twist. And as for Shido…

…

He's mine damnit! –bounds and gags him- -stuffs in closet- MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

P.S. Um… -hypnotizes- You are not going to like Shido/Cain fics anymore, you are not going to like Shido/Cain fics anymore…. Did it work?

P.P.S. Here's the update –kicks update-

P.P.P.S I have finally read some of your HP fics… they're good But I didn't review

sorry… I don't like review when it was made/last updated a few months before I've read it.

J00rPwNeDbYmEh- Well, that's good to hear

Anyway, R&R. Sayonara! –Kitsune-chan


	5. I've had better dog food

Disclaimer: I don't own it gods damnit! Now if you sue-happy people wouldn't mind I would like to update my fanfiction now… -mutters-

Kurai: My, my. Aren't we little Ms. Cheerful?

Kitsune: Shut up, Kurai… I don't need you until next chapter… I think…

Kurai: Well… I'll just hang around just in case then.

Kitsune-sigh-

Chapter five: I've had better dog food -.-;;

It had taken the four at least an hour to find were Riho and Yayoi were. (Little bi…-ahem- never mind…) Kitsune-chan was about to pass out… she didn't like exercise of any sort and the weather didn't help either. She didn't like the heat but it didn't seem to bother the others.

"Gods… I'd almost go running back to Canada's freezing cold weather right now with open arms!" Kitsune-chan said, shielding her eyes from the suns warm rays.

"Are you kidding me? It's bloody cold up there!" Guni said from inside Kitsune-chan's hair.

"Well, it's not my fault you're a streaker." Kitsune-chan said sweatdropping.

"… Shut up."

"Anyway…" Yayoi started trying to break up the squabble. "Where do you people want to eat?"

"Why don't we eat here?" Cain asked pointing to the building beside them. Kitsune-chan's eyes went as big as her head once she saw what place he was pointing to.

"No way! No way in holy hell am I stepping foot into that place! Don't you know anything about… whatever century it is now?" Kitsune-chan exclaimed feeling stupid at the same time as being completely sickened. Cane just blinked at the building in front of them. There seemed to be nothing wrong with it and people were eating inside it.

"It's bloody McDonalds, man! If you ever watch 'Supersize Me' then you'll know why we shouldn't eat here." Kitsune-chan said knowledgeably.

"I don't see anything wrong with it either." Shido said shrugging. Shido went inside the fast food place and Cain followed after.

"I'm not eating anything, and if you three were smart then you wouldn't either." Kitsune-chan warned.

The four girls told Shido and Cain where they would be sitting and went to the table. They waited for a little while. Yayoi and Riho pretty much interrogated Kitsune-chan… but more of like in the way silly teenagers would.

"What's your favorite band?"

"Malice Mizer."

"Season?"

"Autumn."

"Song?"

"Don't know changes all the time but right now it's… oh! Hey, guys!" Kitsune-chan said waving to Shido and Cain. The two use-to-be vampires sat down and looked at their food. Kitsune-chan almost barfed looking at the stuff. "If you guys die it's not my fault."

"But aren't you the author?" Guni asked, a frown on her face for a slight second.

"Some things are just out of my control." Kitsune-chan declared over dramatically. The two guys started to eat their food, biting their tongues a few times in the process and cussing. But it actually didn't go too badly… well… until after they were finished eating that is.

"I don't feel well." Shido said resting his head on the table.

"I told you we shouldn't eat here; but did either of you listen? No! You were all 'It's look alright to me.' Stupid baka's!" Kitsune-chan huffed. The two who had eaten the poison known as McDonalds moaned. "Well… we better get you somewhere where you can puke your brains out." Kitsune-chan sighed.

A/N: Yay, another update. I actually like this chapter; I hope you do too! Anyway, onto the reviews.

Darkmaster2- 00 Meep! –hides- I'm allergic to cats!

Yes, one review… please send more! RR. Sayonara! –Kitsune-chan


	6. Erm… You don’t deserve a title!

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing.

Kitsune: From now on I'm not going to put disclaimers. Okay? Good.

Kurai: It was about time you updated!

Kitsune: True, true. –turns to reviewers- I apologize once again for taking so long to update.

Chibiusa: But for now, onto the story! –hero pose-

Kitsune: Hey! That's my line! ;;

Chibiusa: I don't remember you ever saying that. o.O

Kitsune: I didn't but… meh, forget it. --;;;

Chapter six: Erm… -doesn't know what to call this- -points at you- You don't deserve a title!

The girls led the two men outside and they had just been standing hunched over for a few minutes.

"Well, aren't you going to puke? I'm an authoress and I have stuff to do." Kitsune replied checking her nails, acting quite snobby. Why? Because I can. Mwaha. "Could you please hu- … NO! Not my new boots!"

Cain had chosen Kitsune-chan's new boots as his target (part of me thinks he did it on purpose –glares-). She stared helplessly at the vomit all over her black footwear. Guni was snickering in her ear.

"Oh shut up, Guni!"" she exclaimed.

"Can't you just rewrite the story so that your boots aren't all puke-ified?" Riho asked covering her nose from the stench.

"No." she said as anime tears rolled from her eyes. "They are from my reality so I can't change what happened to them."

Cain muffled something that sounded like something between a laugh and an apology. "Yeah sure, whatever." Kitsune said rolling her eyes. You'd think he'd know not to mess with a woman who was on the verge of PMSing. "Let's just… go back to Shido's place."

They all walked back to Shido's office and made sure to keep a good enough distance away from the fuming Kitsune. The two guys still looked horrible so as soon as they got back Shido flopped down on the couch.

Cain blinked. "And where am I suppose to lay down? I'm sick as well, you know."

"On the floor for all I care." Shido replied turning on his side.

"But I'm sick, shouldn't I be comfortable?"

"Your face makes me sick and I'm uncomfortable but you don't see me complaining." Shido said with a yawn. Of course this made Cain angry, who wouldn't be?

"Now, now boys. Play nice." The shoeless Kitsune said in a mother-like scolding tone. "Why don't you just go and use Shido's coffin for now. Guess we'll have to go bed shopping soon."

"And where will you get the money for that?" Yayoi asked raising an eyebrow. Kitsune stuffed her hands into her empty pockets and sweatdropped.

"Who said I would be the one paying?" she replied with a laugh as she threw a quick glance at Shido and Cain.

"I didn't even want to become mortal and you expect me to buy a bed? I don't see why I can't sleep in a coffin." Cain said.

"You can't because of… um…" Kitsune searched for the words. "Reasons." She ended vaguely and then gave a fake cough.

Both Shido and Cain raised an eyebrow at Kitsune extremely curious as to what she was talking about. A little bright halo appeared over Kitsune's head.

"You know, halo's aren't too convincing when they're held up by horns." Shido commented.

Kitsune looked in the reflective surface of the TV and blinked. "Well, would you look at that? When did those get there?" she said in a clueless voice. Then they disappeared. Yep, just like that; poof! What? I'm trying to make this chapter long and there's only so much I can write before writer's block sets in. Yay, rambling! Let's continue the story shall we?

Cain sighed and went into the little closet where Shido kept his coffin. Kitsune-chan went into the kitchen. "So how are my boots comin'?" she asked looking into the sink.

_This witch better pay me for this. _Riho thought. "Fine, fine." She said exasperated. "This is the crappiest job in the world." She mumbled.

"Bet you wouldn't think the same thing if it was Shido's vomit." Kitsune-chan teased and stuck out her tongue.

"You're probably right." Guni said with a laugh.

Riho sweatdropped and drop the boots into the puke-y water. "You wash them." She said cantankerously (ha ha, that's an awesome word!) as she walked away.

"What! Oh c'mon I was only kidding!" Kitsune whined. She looked into the sink despairingly and helplessly. She grabbed a spatula and used it to remove the boots from what could be scarcely be called water. "The things I do for you stupid boots…" Kitsune grumbled.

A/N: How was this one? Meh, I have nothing to say so. Review reply time!

The Bard's Apprentice- I hope you get better then (though you probably already have right?).

And I fear you have me confused with someone who is talented enough to write slash. I on the other hand am just a beginner. Though the next chapter includes showers so I'll see what I can do…

Bo- -feels loved- I'm glad you like it! Here's the update.

Don't forget please review. Anybody who reviews for this chapter shall get a glomp. Okay, then? Okay. Sayonara! –Kitsune-chan


	7. Shower Time!

Kitsune: Haha! See? No disclaimer. Mweha! –does dance-

Muses: o0

Chibiusa: See? I told you she was on crack but did you believe me? No!

Kurai: -rolls eyes- Anyway, I know for a fact I won't be needed in this chapter so I'm just going to leave. –leaves-

Kaitou: Me too… -leaves-

Kitsune: -.- Oh well… I don't blame them I guess.

Chapter Seven: Shower Time! –drool-

Kitsune quietly crept into the closet the next morning as the other girls tried to wake up Shido. Kitsune had unfairly been voted to wake up Cain, which was most likely, not a safe thing to do. So anyway, Kitsune was creeping with a piece of Pocky in her hand. And what was that piece of Pocky for you ask? For poking of course.

She carefully opened the coffin and look at a sleeping Cain. For minutes she just stood there hovering over him blinking. I mean, think about it! She was the authoress and there in front of her was a vulnerable, sleeping Cain. She sighed knowing she would be attacked by hordes of fangirls if she did something stupid, plus she would ruin her plot (what plot? o.0) if she did so.

So instead she became incredibly afraid as she extended the stick of Pocky towards Cain's cheek. She stopped right before it touched his flesh but then quickly jabbed him with the Pocky. Nothing happened. She tried many more times and still got no reaction. She huffed and then got an idea. She poked him in the eye. Something she instantly regretted.

His one eye flashed open while his other remained closed with his hand resting on top of it. He flew at her with his other hand at her neck and out of the closet, resulting in quite the compromising position.

Kitsune had a large grin on her face. "Well, that was fun! Let's do that again!" She said happily.

Cain sighed angrily and got up deciding not to make the situation look any worse to the other girls who had just woken Shido up.

Kitsune got up as well. "I have an announcement for you all." She stated. "We are all going to the beach." Cue mental image of Shido and Cain dripping wet from head to toe in the sunlight. "So…" she said with a mischievous smile forming on her lips. "Shido and Cain you will both have to take showers…" and then added something in a mumble sounding like, "at the same time."

"And what about you four?" Shido asked, choosing to ignore whatever it was Kitsune mumbled.

"We took our showers while you two were sleeping." Riho said with a smile.

"Exactly." Kitsune said, mischievous smile still in place. "So we better get you two guys into that shower." She said grabbing both Cain's and Shido's hands and dragging them both to the shower.

"What are you doing?" Shido demanded trying to keep himself back and Cain was curious as well.

"Taking you both to the bathroom, silly!" She said with a girlish giggle.

"At the same time?" He exclaimed.

"Yup!" She said happily. "And you won't put up a fight!"

"The hell I won't!"

"But the fangirls! Think of them!" Kitsune pleaded.

"The who?"

"Fangirls, we need a yaoi moment."

Instant silence.

"What?" Shido exclaimed loudly.

"You heard me. And since your not cooperating I must write it into the fic therefore forcing you do order my commands." Then it seemed as if out of nowhere a piece of paper popped up. She quickly scribbled something down and then poof! The two males were in the shower together.

"Kitsune, I'm afraid we are both still clothed…" She heard Cain's voice form the bathroom.

"What!" Came Shido's voice, "You stupid son of a…" But the rest of his words were sadly drowned out by the sound of water as Kitsune continued to write.

"Sorry!" She shouted and then wrote down something else. She then turned to the direction of the window. Confusing the three other girls present in the room. "Now, I'm sure you readers out there have enough imagination yourself to imagine what could possibly be going on in that bathroom. I sure can!" She appeared to start drooling. Who wouldn't? Who could resist thinking of hot steamy shower scene ex-immortal on ex-immortal lovin'?

The three other girls just stared at Kitsune in utter disgust and horror. What kind of pervert were they hanging out with?

"Now if you don't mind I'm just going to go into the bathroom and wait until they come out…" Kitsune said, turning to leave to the bathroom.

"Nuh uh." Riho said as she, Yayoi, and Guni held onto the back of her shirt. "You're coming with us to buy them some swimming trunks."

"But they're practically begging me to come and watch! I need to go in and write down what I see so I can tell me readers." Kitsune protested as she was dragged off. Unfortunately the girls decided to ignore her.

A/N: Please read & review. I unfortunately have no reviews to reply to this time. ;-;


	8. Who really gives a damn what the title

Kitsune: I can tell I'm going to like this chapter too!

Chibiusa: -sits down with popcorn- And I'll like it too! –grins-

Kitsune: Then I shouldn't keep you or the readers waiting now should?

Chibiusa: No you shouldn't.

Kitsune: Okie-dokie. –goes off to write chapter-

Chapter Eight: Who really gives a damn what the title is?

So, the girls went and bought the guys swimming trunks (as much as Kitsune insisted they should wear speedos) then returned to the apartment. "What?" Kitsune whined upon finding the two males finished their 'shower'. "You're done your shower already!"

Shido nodded while crossing his arms over his chest. "And it wasn't even a shower anyway! It was more like him," Shido pointed to Cain who now had a black eye, "raping me! I really don't see why we had to take a shower together anyway."

"I told you!" Kitsune sighed exasperated. "To please the fangirls. Plus, it saved on hot water." Kitsune sighed again before brightening up. "But we have your swimming trunks for you."

"Goody." Shido replied sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

"Oh c'mon Mr. Shido! Don't be such a spoil sport!" Riho pleaded. "I'm sure you miss swimming as much as I do."

Shido just gazed at Riho for a few moments before finally sighing in defeat. "Alright."

"Yeah!" Kitsune cheered. She slapped Riho on the back. "You finally came in use for something. About time! You were so useless in the show besides you know… drama and crap like that."

"Show?" Riho asked, deciding to ignore Kitsune's insult. "What show?"

Kitsune blinked. "Eh… never mind. Let's just get ready!"

And so the little entourage got changed (Shido nearly killed Kitsune for trying to make him and Cain get dressed in the same room) and then left for the beach. Kitsune was equipped with a camera so she could get yummy pictures of Shido and Cain soaking wet.

They soon arrived at the sandy beach under the warm sun. The heat was insane so it was easy understand why so many people were at the beach that day.

"Geez, it's so hot out here." Kitsune stated the obvious, "I can't wait to get into that water!" Kitsune-chan handed the bag she carried to Yayoi. "Do you mind watching the stuff for us?"

"Sure, no problem. I wasn't planning on swimming anyway." Yayoi replied. Kitsune quickly whispered something to Yayoi before she nodded. She took the bag and went to go sit down on a spot on the beach on a towel.

Kitsune grabbed onto one arm of both Shido and Cain. "C'mon guys!" Kitsune exclaimed trying to run while dragging the guys but neither of them moved. "Hey!" Kitsune whined. "Don't either of you want to escape from this heat?"

"I'd rather die than go in the water with him." Shido sulked.

"Oh stop being so emo, Shido. Plus you have some clothes on this time. And you and I both know this heat is definitely unbearable."

"… Fine." Shido sighed and let himself be dragged off along with Cain. Riho and Guni followed behind.

Kitsune ran splashing water everywhere, including on the two males she hung onto. She looked at them for a moment seeing they weren't drenched yet so she let go of them and went to go speak with Riho. Shido stood waist deep in water with his arms crossed as he glared at Cain who was acting as if Shido was not.

Suddenly Riho went running toward Shido as Kitsune ran after Cain and then they both pushed the two men into the water. Shido emerged from the water seething mad as he was not in a good mood but Cain appeared to actually be having some fun and many flashes were coming from the camera that Yayoi held.

Okay. Freeze. All fangirls commence drooling. Both Shido and Cain dripping wet in the sunlight. All right, I'll just give you a few minutes to imagine that.

…

…

…

All right, are we ready? Okay, back to the story.

"Calm down, Shido. You've been PMSing all day." Kitsune said.

"Geez, I wonder why." Shido muttered sardonically.

"Just try and have some fun."

"How?" Shido asked unhappily.

"Hmm… hold on a second." Kitsune said with a wink. She stood on her tip-toes to whisper in Cain's ear. Cain nodded with a mischievous smile. Shido looked at the two warily, wondering what they could be plotting.

The two soon stopped whispering to each other and looked at Shido with smirks on their faces. "W-what?" Shido asked, backing up slightly.

"Now!" Kitsune shouted, pumping her fist in the air. At that moment Cain practically pounced on Shido and crushed his lips to Shido's. "SQUEE!" Kitsune squealed loudly, sort of ruining the moment.

"Hey!" Riho cried, stamping her foot angrily. "Make them stop!"

"What?" Kitsune asked incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Look at them!"

Cain seemed to be enjoying himself but Shido on the other hand was trying his damnedest to be free from Cain's embrace and the kiss.

"Too bad we're out in public or this could get a lot more interesting… oh well… we still have to buy beds. Heh heh heh…" Kitsune chuckled darkly.

But finally managed to push Cain off of him and trudged furiously out of the clear water. He went to Yayoi (who had also took photos of the kiss) and took a towel from her before walking off. "Hey, where are you going?" Kitsune yelled.

"Home!" He shouted back.

"Shido we were just trying to have fun."

"It doesn't matter, the sun is setting and it'll get cold." Guni said.

"Yeah, I know. I made that happen. I needed to set up the next chapter." Kitsune replied, going to get a towel as well. The others followed her wondering what Kitsune was talking about.

A/N: I apologize this took so long but between writer's block, other stories, and having no internet it was difficult to update so I hope you liked this chapter. Now for replying!

Darkmaster2- Heehee, thanks. n.n I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.


	9. Nightbreed! Mweha!

Kitsune: sticks out tongue Well, let's see… nothing else new so onto le story (yay for bad French!).

Chapter 9: Nightbreed! Mweha!

The other five followed behind the sulking Shido, deciding that perhaps it was best not to piss him off any further. And since Kitsune-chan had nothing better to do she decided to read Shido's thoughts (yes, I can do that since I'm the authoress. Mweha!). And what may you ask was the ex-immortal thinking about?

'I hate this. This might not be so bad if that Goddamn Kitsune wasn't here!" Needless to say Kitsune-chan felt very unloved so she decided to read someone else's mind and for some reason chose Yayoi.

All Kitsune could see in Yayoi's mind was a little banana dancing singing 'Peanut butter jelly time!' And of course Kitsune found this odd and decided to see what Riho was thinking. But she quickly got out of her mind, not wanting to know what happened next in her little 'fantasy'.

Kitsune went to read Guni's mind. "Oh yeah! I'm as tall as all of you now! Booyah!" A human sized Guni cried out in her mind as she danced crazily. Kitsune just sweatdropped and decided to read Cain's mind.

'What are you doing reading my mind?' Cain thought to her.

'Meep!' Kitsune thought back and stopped invading the privacy of their minds.

So the four kept walking in silence until suddenly a Nightbreed appeared before them!

"DUN DUN DUN!" Kitsune shouted dramatically.

"Erm… anyway…" Replied the Nightbreed awkwardly. "Just wanted to know if I could either strike up a deal with one of you or I'm just gonna take one of your bodies by force."

By pure instinct, Shido bit his finger quite hard trying to make a sword out of his own blood but obviously that didn't work.

"Ow! That hurt like a mother-!" Shido cursed holding his finger, which now had bite marks in it.

The Nightbreed just blinked and looked at Shido strangely. "Riiight… so any of you interested in being plagued by a Nightbreed AKA me?" The monster asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure. This one right here does." Guni stated pointing at Riho.

"Hey! No, I don't!" Riho shouted indignantly.

"I know that I'm a Nightbreed that just goes around killing people and stuff but I have a life to live too y'know so if you could please not waste my time that'd be great." Nightbreed said sounding quite annoyed.

With the tone the Nightbreed had used Shido couldn't help but completely explode. "Don't use that tone of voice! You have nothing to complain about. These past two days have been utter crap so don't you start complaining! So unless that stupid bastard over there kisses you or that stupid little bitch makes you start singing Barney songs in the middle of the street, you have nothing to complain about!"

The Nightbreed's eyes went wide as he stared at Shido. "Whoa dude… calm down. I just wanted to take over one of you're bodies and eat human flesh. Geez!" But it appeared that Shido didn't hear the Nightbreed and tackled the thing attempting to beat it death but it wasn't working entirely all that well.

The other five just watched for a few moments. "Is it just me or does it seem like Shido is enjoying beating that thing up?" Guni questioned. The others just silently nodded.

"This is for Cain molesting me all day!" Shido said before punching the Nightbreed. "This is for me ever meeting Kitsune! This is for me drinking the Thingamajigger! This is for me ever being turned into a vampire in the first place! And this… this is for when my mother made me eat broccoli when I was little!"

"Er… I think I'll just stop this now before Shido just says something embarrassing." Kitsune said with a sweatdrop before taking out a notepad and a pen. She turned to a new sheet of paper and quickly wrote something down and the Nightbreed disappeared causing Shido to nearly punch the hard concrete below it.

Shido got up from the ground and was panting heavily but seemed to be feeling slightly better. "Shido, why don't we go and have something to drink?" Yayoi suggested.

"If you mean a bar I don't think so!" Kitsune exclaimed.

"Why? You're too young to get in anyway." Yayoi replied.

"Because I hate it when people are drunk." Kitsune said huffily crossing her arms.

"Well, I think it's a good idea." Shido said.

"And I agree as well." Cain approved.

"Fine then! Riho, Guni, and I will all have fun back at Shido's house WITHOUT alcohol!" Kitsune then grabbed both Riho and Guni before storming off.

Shido just shrugged and turned to Yayoi. "Well, lead the way."

Some while later at the bar

"And then I said," Shido slurred, "It's either the duck or you snort fifty pixie sticks."

"Woooooow…" Yayoi replied in awe before she fell off of her bar stool. Cain appeared to be the only sober one though he had about as much to drink as both of them. Although he really didn't mind hearing these ridiculous stories being traded back and forth he decided it was finally time for them to go back to Shido's place.

He paid the bartender before picking the two drunken people up and starting back to Shido's place. Cain sighed as he listened to Shido start another stupid tale, which somehow involved a hippopotamus and a snowboard.

A/N: Yup, that's the end of that chapter and there's only two more I'm afraid. Anyway, please read and review.


	10. Sleep tight don't let Cain bite

Kitsune: Noooooo!  
Kurai: -sigh- What is it now, mesunokitsune?  
Kitsune: This is the last funny chapter because the next one is well… anyway…  
Chibiusa and Kitsune: Noooooo!  
Kurai: Oh good gods! Just get on with the damn story.  
Kitsune: o-0 You want to read this chapter?  
Kurai: No! Gods no! Just… I was just thinking of the readers…  
Chibiusa: You were thinking of someone other than yourself or Namida? o-0  
Kurai: What? Ugh! Forget it! –stalks off-  
Kitsune: Well… that was weird but now for the story.

**Chapter 10: Sleep tight; don't let Cain bite:P**

Needless to say when Shido and Cain (they took Yayoi home) returned Kitsune was extremely pissed off at the two (more at Shido than Cain) and didn't even want to stay in the same room as them. So Riho and Cain helped (as well as Guni as best as she could) Shido to the couch (he really couldn't walk that well) then Cain went to the coffin in Shido's closet (I like using parenthesis).

After that Riho made her way up to the roof where Kitsune-chan had ventured off. "Hey." Riho called, walking over to Kitsune. "They're finally both asleep so you can go downstairs now." Kitsune nodded and turned away from the city that sparkled in the night. When they made it back downstairs to Shido's office Riho curled up on the floor next to Shido while Kitsune chose to sleep in Shido's chair.

Well… wasn't that angsty or at least as angsty as this chapter will get. Anyway, the next morning they awoke to yet another beautiful sunny day, which was not welcomed by Shido. He quickly covered his eyes. "Too bright…" He mumbled into the couch.

"Don't worry Mr. Shido I'll make you 'Riho's Special Blend' to make you feel better." Riho chirped making Shido cringe slightly.

"How will that help?"

"It'll help make your hangover go away."

"Is that what this headache is from?" Shido inquired as he sat up holding his forehead with one hand.

"Yeah. Some Aspirins will help too." Riho said, handing him an Aspirin with a glass of water before skipping off to the kitchen. Shido quickly swallowed the small tablet with some water before placing the glass on the table and continued to hold his head. Kitsune just sat at his desk glaring at him.

"What?" Shido asked wearily finally realizing after a minute or so that her gaze was on him.

Kitsune sighed, not really wanting to be angry with him. "We have to buy you a bed today."

"Can't we do that tomorrow?" Shido asked, flopping down on the couch with a tired sigh.

"No. We have to do it today so if you really don't want to take a shower with Cain again I suggest you take one now." And with that Shido was in the bathroom taking a shower in the blink of an eye.

Riho came out of the kitchen and set two mugs of coffee on the table, one for Shido and one for Cain. "So, are you going to go wake Cain up or what?"

"No. I did last time, you do it this time."

Riho put his hands on her hips. "No." She refused in an almost toddler fashion.

Kitsune sighed once more. "Fine. Rock, paper, scissors, then?" Kitsune suggested getting up and walking over to Riho.

"Fine." Riho agreed. And so they played the game but Kitsune chose a non-existent choice.

"What in the world is that?" Riho asked annoyed, scowling at Kitsune choice.

"I'm pointing at you therefore meaning that you should go and wake him up." Kitsune replied matter-of-factly.

"That's not fair!" Riho exclaimed.

"Life's not fair. Deal with it."

"No." Riho said crossing her arms, once again acting like an immature child.

"Why don't you just both go?" Guni asked, popping out of Kitsune's hair. Riho looked at the little faerie while Kitsune just blinked stupidly.

"Yeah, fine. I'll agree with that." Riho said with a nod of her head.

"Yeah, me too. Plus he couldn't possibly be that scary to wake up when there's two girls here." Kitsune stated with a smile.

"Ahem!" Guni cleared her throat loudly.

"Again, he couldn't possibly be that scary to wake up when there's two girls here." Kitsune repeated, which just earned her a bite on the ear from Guni. Kitsune rubbed her ear gingerly, cursing silently. "Well, let's go."

The two (-snickers-… -gets bit on the ear- Ow! Ugh… fine…) I mean the three girls snuck into the small closet, which begs the question how did they all (more like both since Guni didn't take up much room) fit when there was a large coffin in there as well. But anyway the girls slowly uncovered the coffin both wondering how wake him.

"So how are we going to wake him without getting ourselves nearly killed?" Kitsune asked in a whisper.

"I was hoping you would know." Riho whispered back.

"If you would both kindly quit whispering about me that would be wonderful." Cain said suddenly nearly scaring the girls out of their skin.

"Then you're up?" Kitsune asked.

"Yes." Cain replied sitting up.

They all left the small closet. "So do you have a hangover too?" Kitsune asked.

"Slightly." He said.

"I'll go get the aspirin!" Riho said before going off to get some and coming back quickly with another glass of water. She handed the two things to Cain before he quickly took the aspirin.

"Well, now that we're all up we'll go shop for a bed in an hour." Kitsune stated.

And since I'm much too lazy to write an hour's worth of stuff I believe I shall move on to when they are buying the bed.

"Which one am I supposed to pick? There are so many here." Shido pondered scratching his head. "Not to mention I'm sure none of them would fit in my closet."

"Don't worry I'll fix that." Kitsune said, writing on a piece of paper once more. "There. Now you have a bedroom."

"Erm… thanks." Shido said and then finally spotted a bed. "I think I'll take that one." Shido said.

"No." Kitsune disagreed. "You need a bigger bed."

"Why?" Shido questioned curiously.

"Because I said so that's why."

"Well, then why don't you just write it in that I have a large bed?"

Kitsune just stood there silenced by her stupidity. "Um… let's get back to Shido's place now." And so they left the large furniture store and went back to Shido's office/apartment.

Once they got back Kitsune immediately started pushing the two males towards Shido's bedroom. "Well, I think you two should get acquainted with your new bed." Kitsune said happily.

"What? It's my bed, not his." Shido exclaimed resentfully.

"Actually it's both of yours." Kitsune corrected.

"What?" Shido nearly yelled in outrage but Kitsune, tired of pushing them, just wrote them both into the bedroom into, shall we say, rather interesting positions upon the bed.

Shido just stared up at Cain at first shocked and then angry (he should've at least been happy that I let them still have their clothes on). "Get off of me." Shido growled at him.

"Oh c'mon Shido!" Kitsune whined. "I need more practice at writing sex scenes." Then the next thing Cain knew Shido pushed him onto the floor before he escaped from the bedroom. Cain unfortunately lay knocked on the floor from hitting his head too hard against the wall.

"What did you just say?" Shido demanded, looking almost as if he were about to kill Kitsune.

Kitsune laughed nervously. "I was just kidding."

"What are you talking about, Kitsune? You were just about to start writing." Riho stated innocently. Kitsune death glared Riho before she started assaulting her with the rusty spoon of d00m, which had dropped from the ceiling quite suddenly.

Shido sighed deciding it would be a waste of his energy to keep yelling at Kitsune so he decided to watch T.V. but when he pressed the buttons on the remote it also turned on a tape. That tape showed upon the television a scantily clad Yayoi winking, which stopped Riho and Kitsune from fighting as they stared at the T.V. then at Shido who was fumbling with the remote. After a few moments, which to him seemed an eternity, he finally managed to shut the T.V. off.

"Mr. Shido! What was that?" Riho (who now had a cut on her cheek and her hair and clothes were a mess) shouted at him. Shido just blushed and laughed nervously.

"Wow… whenever you got that you must've got lucky that night." Kitsune (who had a black eye and was limping) said blinking, oblivious to the glare she was receiving from Shido.

A/N: Wow… -blinks- that's the longest chapter for this story yet… maybe I was just trying to prolong the next one –sniff-. Now for review (yes singular)!

Mykah Leigh- Yeah, I know. I don't like author-inserting fics either yet here I am. I'm such a hypocrite! XD  
P.S. –pouts- Fine, but I'm keeping his sexy top hat. -huggles top hat-  
P.P.S. Aw! C'mon! Just because she really does nothing in the show except whine and need rescuing that's no reason to bash her! XD Just kidding. I must steal her clothes and then she may die/get bashed/etc. XD Or at least I must steal her shoes.  
P.P.P.S. –cough- I still don't think it's considered a plot twist but I do know people will want to probably kill me after the next chapter.

Anywho, I should be putting up the next chapter soon! Until then, au revoir!


	11. Don't Kill Me!

Kitsune: I just want you all to know that… -runs off-

Chibiusa: What Sugoi Baka means to say is that she's allergic to pain and that you will have to forgive her for the contents of this chapter. She also says that she might be back by the end of the chapter.

Namida: All right, I'm here.

Chibiusa: Which means…

Kitsune: -from afar- On to the story!

Chibiusa: Damn, thought I'd be able to say it for once. -.-;

Chapter Eleven: Don't kill me! - From Kitsune to the fangirls.

Everyone had wasted the day away doing whatever they pleased. This included going skydiving, going to the zoo, landing on the moon, learning how to play the violin, going on a twenty second long blind date, whistling, and gardening. Thus everyone was quite tired when they got back to Shido's place. Riho decided to take the couch since Shido and Cain took the bed (Shido had been too tired to argue) and Kitsune took the chair behind the desk once again.

Everyone found it quit easy to fall asleep except for Cain who still lay awake restless. He gazed at Shido's sleeping form and let his thoughts go back to when he had confronted Shido about turning him into a mortal.

FLASHBACK 

'_Maybe it's Guni, she hasn't been here all morning.' Shido thought. Shido opened the door to someone he did not expect but you probably will. _

"_Shido, what have you done to me?" Cain asked, standing at the door. He was shaking with rage and looked as if he was about ready to strangle Shido._

"_I changed you into a mortal." Shido started nonchalantly. "But she was the one who told me to." He continued, pointing to Yayoi. _

"_Why you!" Yayoi shouted angrily._

"_I'm sensing negative vibes directed towards me…" Shido said to himself, looking nervously between the two. "Well… there's nothing we can do now, so go away."_

"_Hey! You can't do that! You'll ruin the storyline, Shido!" came Guni's voice from the ceiling. Everyone looked up. _

"_What are you doing up there, Guni?" Riho asked._

"_The authoress asked me to come, she thought I might make it funnier. I've seen the future! And Shido you're not helping it some true." Guni said._

"_Yeah, so for plot purposes Cain stays, got it?" the familiar voice of Kitsune-chan asked. They all stared blankly up at the ceiling. "I'll take that as a yes…"_

"_So… when are you gonna give…" Shido started._

"_Aw! Shido are you concerned about me?" Guni asked._

"… _My hat back?" Shido finished._

"_Trust Kitsune-chan when she says you don't want it back…" Guni said, slightly put out that he cared about the hat more then he cared about her. "It's all covered in kiss marks and… I think she's dressing it up…" Guni said you could almost hear that her eyes took up more than half of her head._

"_Anywho, we have to let the plot continue so we're gonna shut up now." Kitsune-chan said and all of a sudden it was silent. _

"_Well…" Riho said finally taking her eyes off the ceiling. "I guess I'm going to have to teach both of you how to cook… Yayoi, you're going to help too right?" Riho asked._

"_Of course." Yayoi replied. Cain at the time had taken to glaring at Shido, thinking of someway to get back at him for turning him mostly mortal._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Kitsune narrated in a mumble in the next room but Cain ignored her. 'That's right. I did want revenge upon my dear Shido for making me like this but this isn't all that horrible.' He thought then his eyes went wide; how could he forget how much he liked being a vampire? The more he thought and the more he looked at Shido the more Cain wanted to harm the man that lay sleeping soundly next to him.

Slowly Cain sat up and then wrapped his hands around Shido's neck, not really thinking about what would come of his actions. Shido woke up slowly but soon felt the oxygen from his brain being cut off. Shido continued to struggle against Cain's grasp and soon pushed Cain away from him.

"What the hell are you-?" Shido started but soon Cain flew back at him once more with a dangerous glint in his eye and the conflict continued, waking both Kitsune and Riho.

"What's going on in there?" Riho wondered aloud, hearing all the cursing and shouting.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." Kitsune told Riho in a commanding voice, pulling Shido's top hat more over her eyes.

"They sound like they're killing each other." Riho exclaimed in alarm rising from the couch.

Kitsune peered under the rim of the hat at Riho and immediately got up, stood on the desk to jump by Riho. "I said go back to sleep." Kitsune commanded once more.

"Kitsune, I can't let you do this." Guni cried flying out of the authoress' hair. Kitsune quickly took out her notepad, writing on it and then 'poof' Guni was gone without a trace.

Riho looked at Kitsune for a moment before running to Shido's bedroom door and opening it to seen the quarrel within. Both Shido and Cain were strangling each other near the window in the moonlight. "What are you making them do?" Riho commanded, looking back at Kitsune for a moment before she attempted to run into the room to try and stop the two but Kitsune-chan grabbed the back of Riho's shirt pulling her from the room and flinging her to the ground.

Again Kitsune took out her ever-handy notepad and messily wrote down some words before Riho too disappeared. Kitsune watched the two men struggle with each other. "Kit… sun… e… h-hel… p… p-lea… ease…" Shido tried to call too her but she just stood there. She once again raised her notepad to write and Shido and Cain still squeezing each other's neck started moving towards the slowly opening window.

Kitsune looked down shamefully. "I'm sorry. But… this is another thing mortals do… they die. I'm so sorry." She apologized shaking her head sadly. Both males stared at her utterly shocked, now loosely holding the other's neck in their hands. "I'm sorry." She repeated. The next sounds were only of their screams filling the night air as they fell from the window head first to the concrete. Their blood splattered along the sidewalk for all to see and more terrified screams filled the air.

Kitsune still stood in the empty office and with a sad sigh she disappeared and Riho and Guni took her place in the office. And Kitsune-chan was never to return to the world of Nightwalker ever again.

**The End**

A/N: -quivers behind muses- Don't hurt me, please! Even though they died I still hoped you liked it. Anyway this is the end of the story so I hoped that you enjoyed it throughout. Sayonara!


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